Get yer freak on. Doula's orders.

The first thing people do when they find out you're a doula (other than asking what the hell that is) is tell you their birth stories.  Which I love, but they very often end with, "So then I had a c-section, and did I really need one?"  Um, I dunno.  I wasn't there, and if I was, I wouldn't exactly have the authority to say.

The second thing people do is ask about some old wives' tales surrounding birth.  The favorite of mine is always, "Is it true that having sex can bring on labor?"  And let me tell you, the answer is yes.

But why?

Oxytocin, the so-called "love hormone," is at least partly responsible for three distinct physiological events in a woman's reproductive cycle: orgasm, labor, and breastfeeding.  As a sex-positive doula and lactation educator, you might say that oxytocin is my homegirl.

The female orgasm was once thought of as relatively inconsequential to the reproductive process.  In fact, some fertility specialists have even suggested that orgasm "dilutes" a woman's chance of becoming pregnant.  (I call bullshit.  Also sexism.  But that's another post.)  Au contraire, says a bulk of new-ish research that essentially reaffirms what lay-health workers have been saying for years: orgasm increases your chances of conception.  See, when a woman orgasms, her body releases even more vaginal secretion than she does when simply "aroused," helping to lubricate the sperm's path to the egg.  Additionally, the oxytocin released via orgasm contracts the uterus, lowering the cervix (the "neck" of the uterus) and making the uterus more accepting of a fertilized egg (ever wonder what that tight feeling in your lower abdomen was?).

Sidebar: Oxytocin is also associated
with trust, which helps explain why
women who have good relationships
with their care providers tend to have
smoother labors.

So oxytocin contracts the uterus.  Hence labor.  But the wonder-hormone's job isn't over when the placenta is delivered.  Oxytocin is also responsible for the milk "letting down" during breastfeeding.  See, when a woman first lays eyes on her baby, she's essentially OD'ing on oxytocin, as is baby.  That's the love hormone doing its job.  Baby will hopefully find her/his way to a nipple and begin suckling.  When the nipples are stimulated, oxytocin is released from the posterior pituitary gland, contracting the tiny myoepithelial cells inside the milk ducts, forcing milk out of the breast and into baby's mouth.  That oxytocin release is still doing it's job "down there," helping mama's uterus to clamp down post-delivery, thus reducing risk of excessive postpartum bleeding. 

I mention the connection to breastfeeding because oxytocin is also released with nipple stimulation.  Women who are into nipple stimulation during sex may enjoy it for a number of reasons, but physiologically it's because that burst of oxytocin contracts the uterus (which essentially puts interior pressure on the clitoris and, well, you get it).  In other words, if you're into nip-stim, include that in your labor-inducing sex practice.  Otherwise you can just turn on your breast pump when you're finished doin' the deed, and you will probably get a lot of the same benefits.

If a woman is having sex with a man, his stuff may play a labor-inducing role as well.  Semen contains prostaglandins, autocrine hormones that help to soften ("ripen") the cervix.  A softer cervix makes the fertilization/implantation process more likely, but these hormones work the same when a woman is already pregnant.  The low dose of prostaglandins in semen alone aren't likely to induce labor in a woman who's not yet term (which is why care providers don't warn against sex during pregnancy unless a woman is at risk for preterm labor), but the mild softening in a term mama might just be enough to tip her into labor mode.  As an added bonus, if he's, let's say, "gifted," his penis hitting against the cervix may indeed induce some mild (but not earth-shattering) uterine contractions.

Captain Obvious moment: I generally don't recommend the prostaglandin method if a mama is in a relationship where she's at risk for a sexually transmitted infection.  The last thing she needs is to be infected with an STI right before a baby comes squeezing through her vagina!  If infection is an issue, sex with a condom still contains the benefits of oxytocin and cervical pressure.  Masturbation is a safe and effective alternative for women who don't have a partner (or just simply don't want to engage in partner sex).  Again, oxytocin is stronger than prostaglandins... go team vag!

So yes, good sex can in fact induce labor.  In other words, if you're trying to get labor started, just get yer freak on.  Doula's orders.

Raising My Gender-Aware Offspring

My baby boy is all grown up.  Or really, he just graduated from pre-school.  But between playing proud momma and getting him ready for kindergarten, I'm thinking about what the big bad world will do to my sweet little boy.

When my little guy was first born I had beautiful visions of raising him 'gender-neutral'.  After all, it was just me and him.  There was no daddy in the picture to taint my efforts, and my crew of feminist friends were behind me 110%.  I bought cute little 'boyish' outfits as well as some that were more 'girly'.  He wore yellow, green, purple, black, pretty much anything that was cute and fun.  He played with the kinds of toys that most small ones play with.

Then he started preschool and things started to change.  I'll never forget the day he had a friend over who told him that some of his toys were for girls.  These children were three years old and already ideas about gender were being spread between them.  I could have played Bad Momma and not let him play with that friend anymore, but there was really no point.  And that would have been an awful thing to do.  But it was getting worse.  Suddenly he had nothing to do with his purple shirt with the adorable ice cream scoops on it because, he said, purple is for girls.  The things he would pick out at the store were ever more boyish. 

Prior to this his best friend had been a girl, the daughter of a feminist friend of mine who had been pregnant at the same time as me.  I reminisced about the days when I controlled who my son's friends were and who I allowed him to socialize with.  Only after verbalizing my anxiety did a dear close friend - a veteran mother of three - set me straight.

"Girl, do you really think you're helping him by trying to control every aspect of his life?" she said.  And she was right!  I'd been so focused on raising a 'gender-neutral' child that I hadn't even thought of the social alienation I would cause by trying to keep him out of the big bad sexist world.  Dare I say, it was as bad as the fundamentalist Christians keeping their kids out of the school system for fear they would encounter Satan himself.

From then on I decided I would go with it.  My son is a smart kid, after all.  We started talking about gender instead of ignoring it.  I would say things like, "There are a lot of silly people in this world who think that boys aren't supposed to play with dolls," and "Some people think that girls shouldn't play sports."  Thankfully he thought this was ridiculous as well, and even though he continues to dress in ever more gendered garb, I know that this isn't the end of the world.  I mean, I dressed up like a princess as a girl, and I turned out pretty well.

So my baby boy is off to public school in the fall, and I know I cannot keep him in a safe feminist vacuum forever.  He won't be 'gender-neutral', because that's really not possible without restricting him from having the kind of childhood that will let him figure things out for himself.  But I can rest easy knowing he'll be at the very least gender-AWARE.  His claim that Rapunzel was 'silly' for not leaving the tower herself tells me that.

At Long Last... Say Hello to the Ladyparts Crew!

Two months since our official "launch" and we're extremely excited to start ranting and raving about all things ladyparts.

But first, let's meet our rad contributors!  (And remember, we're still looking for more regulars.)

Name: JANAH, aka "The Mother of OMG, Ladyparts!"
Age: 31
Location: Atlanta, GA
Identity: Lady
Orientation: Greedy.
Occupation(s): Artist, high school art teacher, confidante to the masses
Bio: JANAH is the brains behind OMG, Ladyparts!  She enjoys complex and sometimes contradictory conversations about the sexuality of women of color and intersectionality in general.  Look for her under labels The Personal Is Political, A Day In The Life, and Doing Gender. 

Name: Everyone's Yvonne, aka "The Next Sue Johanson"
Age: 28
Location: Greensboro, NC
Identity: Woman and don't you forget it.
Orientation: Pansexual
Occupation(s): Full-spectrum doula, health educator, soon-to-be lactation consultant
Bio: Everyone's Yvonne was recruited primarily to write the Ask Anything column, but she also enjoys a good rant about birth, breastfeeding, reproductive justice, and other fun stuff.  Look for her under labels Ask Anything, Lady Business, Good Shit, and Recommended Reading.

Name: Momma Bec, aka "The One That Always Talks About Motherhood"
Age: 26
Location: Eugene, OR
Identity: Mother!
Orientation: Woefully heterosexual.
Occupation(s): Momma, mother, mommy, mom, and occasional HR consultant
Bio: Momma Bec is the mother of the world's best four year old.  Her favorite topics are those that have to do with feminist parenting.  Look for her under labels A Day In The Life, Body Stories, Doing Gender, and The Personal Is Political.

And now to the blogging!!!!!!!